how long will i remain sane?

how i wanna yell out in pain.. in agony.
with each word that you say to me. it tears my heart open.
i dont wanna move on. but what can i do.
i doubt we'll still love each other after 5yrs.
after your ns. will i still be waiting?
its not that i dont want to.
but by then i would have gone insane.
my life is just rushing down the drain.
each memory of us together makes me shed a litre of tears.
how am i supposed to survive this?
God i prayed. but why dont i feel any better.
i wanna reply to your msg.
telling you that i love you so much.
that i wanna continue loving you.
never giving you up
we were so strong together..
i wanted to immediately reply your msg
tell you that i'll be here for you no matter what.
but wouldnt this be the same as last time?
we should have stopped at that time.
now we've added another year of painful memories.
making it more hard for us to let go.
i dont wanna let go too.
but i have to
i switched off my phone and flung myself on bed
sobbing in my pillow
where we once lay
thank you for respecting my wishes.
thank you for always respecting me.
despite what i did to you.
thank you azlan.